Be The One
by Steffx621
Summary: "They're two lovers in the night, waiting on the sun to raise…You just whisper what you said…One last time. I could have sworn I heard you say that you are mine." Lucas&Peyton AU
1. I

**Summary****:**** "**They're two lovers in the night, waiting on the sun to raise…You just whisper what you said…One last time. I could have sworn I heard you say that you are mine." Lucas&Peyton AU

**Author's Note : **It's been a while, I know, more than I would've liked it, but it's been just some crazy few months. This has been almost written for a while. 3 or 4 parter perhaps. An alternative universe. A little confusing at times, but I still hope you get to like it. Hopefully soon I can get back in track with all my stories and my reading around here :) Happy Holidays Everybody :))

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><p><strong>Be the One<strong>

Tonight wasn't any different as how most of her nights always were. She was in the same house she had lived in for the past three years. She was in the living room as she always was when the clock above the sideboard hit nine-eleven. She had a glass (only half-full) of white wine she surely wasn't going to drink, but that in any case belonged in that place; held in her hands, and very close to her lips.

She'd never drink though; she just served the translucent liquid, and stared at it for a while until it was time to go to bed.

Tonight that had been the same; after the clock showed ten-ten, she knew it was time to place the glass down in the small table before her and head up the stairs as she always did in nights like tonight.

The routine was simple, easy, something that at this point she did without thinking really. She walked the large and sometimes endless stairs that directed her to the second storey of that very same large home she had picked with the man she always thought she loved – she still did, she still loved him and every time the moment is right, she would make the effort to let him know that much.

He wasn't home tonight though; just like he never was at this time of the year, but that was also something she had gotten used to as the years started passing by before her.

Her room was large – hell, that whole house was rather large. _One day it won't feel as empty_ – that had been one of the thoughts that had been in her mind when they decided upon such big house.

Tonight she was feeling fine all things considered though. She walked into her room and that longing in her heart wasn't really as big for some reason – some days she would even dare to think she had already made peace with the life she was supposed to live.

It wasn't perfect, but hell, nothing in life is completely perfect, is it?

Peyton didn't think so anyway, so she simply did what she always did at nights after she'd reached her bedroom. She softly flicked the lights on – she really didn't like to make too much noise. Even if she were the only person in that big home, there was no need to make a big fuss out of it. She didn't turn on the TV nor the stereo. As soon as she entered the room and the lights were on, she walked almost immediately into the bathroom and put on one of those loose fitting nightgowns she knew he actually liked when she wear.

Her hair was as untamed as it had ever been as she let it down in front of the mirror. She didn't mind too much at this point; once upon a time, she would care a lot so her curls were only curl when they were _supposed_ to be curl and not at any other time.

Now – now she was okay with her hair being what it always had been; something not even she had ever been able to control.

After all, he really wasn't home to see them, so it didn't matter.

By the time the small watch in her wrist showed mid-night Peyton had already read a few too many pages from the piece of literature she was reading that week. Reading helped her put her mind at ease; it took her away –if only for a little while, of the life she lead. She didn't hate that life – not at all, but escaping from it every now and again – exactly almost every night from 10:30 to mid-night wasn't really something she could ever complain about.

Something shy of eleven o'clock _he_ had called her and they had talked about their days for a good while; that was something they always did and that was also a moment in her day Peyton actually looked forward to every day.

That call was the only thing that wasn't perfectly schedule in her days; he would call when he got a free moment, when he thought of her, or simply when he realized they hadn't speak all day and as her husband, he _had_ to call her.

Peyton really didn't mind much the reasons behind the call as long as he did it, and truthfully, he always did.

At 12:01, she had already closed the worn-out book in her hands and placed it on top of her nightstand before flicking the lights off. She snuggled under the covers and curled up in a tight ball as she always did. That wasn't a bad thing per se; it really was just what she did. She always faced the door as she slept – perhaps a part of her still hoped he'd walk by that very same doorway sometime during the night to her surprise.

That hadn't happen in quite a while already, but Peyton couldn't really blame him for that.

Hoping someday he would wasn't really that bad of a thing either, so every night, with no fail, she would fall sleep looking at a closed door...

Drifting off to sleep was never really something hard for her to do. She wouldn't even intentionally close her eyes; after a while of staring at the door, she would simply become tired of the sight and the instant she once again realized tonight was not the night he'd walk through it, her eyes would close, and she would give in to the tiredness of her day.

That was just simply the way things were the better part of her nights.

Tonight however, she hadn't truthfully been able to drift off to sleep. A lot had happened in the last few months; not six whole months ago she had been forced to go all the way to New York City and stayed there until things had "settled down" a bit.

Things hadn't completely settled down when she came back home – to Tree Hill, but Peyton anyway chose to believe that staying for as long as she did was what _she_ would have wanted her to do – if only for a little while.

That was strange for some reason; tonight from all nights, Brooke Davis was in her mind as she struggled to fall sleep – perhaps it was guilt – Peyton really couldn't be sure.

Before she could acknowledge it however, there was a sharp tap on her front door that made her breath get caught up in her throat when she tried to gasp at the sound. Not today – not in a million years she had been expecting someone to knock at her door _literally, _in the middle of the night.

She shook her head and rambled softly under her breath the whole time as she made her way down the stairs. She put on her robe, but besides that, she didn't give much thought to her personal appearance before opening the door.

It wouldn't have make sense do so anyway, it was _literally_, 1:11 in the morning, whoever decided to show up at her doorsteps at said hour would have to deal with her messy hair, sleepy eyes and nightwear on.

One more time however, her breath was caught up in her throat when the door was finally opened and she saw the man at the other side of it. She looked at him right in the eye for a few seconds before she simply sighed heavily. "I didn't know you were in town," She said quietly smiling a smile she certainly did not smile all too often now.

Lucas wasn't an unpleasant surprise per se; then again, it was a surprise indeed in the end. They hadn't seen each other in a while – not that long, yet long enough considering the circumstances.

Once upon a time they were really, really good friends. Though they were more of the kind of friends with whom you share almost everything with, yet, deep inside; you know you would never be able to be completely honest with them – something like that was what the two of them had anyway.

Over the years that had changed – of course it had, after all, a lot of time had gone by, and as someone once told Peyton, time _changed_ everything, time could even _heal_ everything but not in their case.

Either way, Peyton found herself a little taken aback at the visit. She still continued smiling softly at him as he stood in her doorway looking up at her ever so cautiously.

It had been raining earlier –not thirty whole minutes ago, it had stopped– which wasn't surprising at that time of the year, yet she was surprised there was not a drop of rain on none of them. Lucas looked tired though, – more-so weary and drained of it all.

Peyton couldn't hold that against him, yet, it did sadden her. She sighed heavily one more time before tilting her head to one side. She didn't say anything, she wasn't going to say anything; she waited and kinked an eyebrow when Lucas shook his head offering her that coy smile he was well aware would let him in into her home no matter what he said or didn't.

"I was going to call…" Lucas explained without really meaning it. His eyes weren't meeting hers, yet Peyton was in fact looking right into his.

She was about to step aside from her doorway in order to let them in when Lucas shifted his weight from one foot to another and Peyton wasn't that sleepy to miss it. Her mouth opened to tell him something else – an action Lucas didn't notice since his eyes were still down for some reason– yet before she could utter a word, she was taking in a deep breath and without bothering to ask, she was taking the small boy Lucas was holding, off of his arms and into her own.

"It's okay, you're tired," Peyton said as a needless explanation. She knew Lucas wouldn't put up a fuss because she took into her arms his son, but still…deep inside she did feel as though they weren't as close anymore as to have her taking the boy and it will all be fine.

For some reason she needed him to know she just took him –not because she entirely wanted to– she kind of didn't, but mainly because Lucas just looked as exhausted as he could be, so carrying a one-year-old in his arms wouldn't help with that.

In the end however, Lucas didn't say much in return to her statement, so after a beat Peyton moved from the door and Lucas passed through it.

"He slept the whole ride here…he'd probably sleep till tomorrow," Lucas said in the name of a small explanation as well. By that time, Peyton had already closed the door behind them.

Lucas didn't feel as if he could just walk into her home so he stayed put by the small hallway until they were facing each other one more time.

"You drove alone with him all the way from New York?" Peyton asked somewhat seriously. Her eyes narrowed and for one reason or another, Lucas loved that concern masked under the form of friendship her voice carried to his ears.

"It's not that far." Lucas explained simply, cracking that same sad smile Peyton shared.

She knew better than to push him into saying more, so instead of saying anything else herself either; she motioned him with her head towards the dark living room.

Lucas looked over at her one more and for some lingering seconds before nodding his head and do as she told him. Peyton followed after him still with his little boy slumbering peacefully over her shoulder.

She actually wasn't minding that part; that boy wasn't the best-behaved of little boys, but at the same time, Peyton couldn't hold that against him even if she wanted to. He had lost a lot too in the last few months…they all had really.

When Lucas saw Peyton struggling somewhat to flick on the lights with his son wrapped into her arms, he stepped closer to her and turn on the lights for her. It was in that instant when the lights were at last on, that their eyes locked and for the first time that night, they were _really_ looking at each other _and _into each other's eyes at the same time.

There was silence for a few seconds and then Lucas smiled drawing away from Peyton when she uttered that oh-so very quiet "Thank you,"

Lucas didn't sit down on the swanky sofa as she motioned him to do so after a moment, but with one of those looks on his face, he waited put on his spot until _she_ did so first.

Then there was even a soft chuckle the two of them shared simultaneously, but as fast as it took them to sit across the other, was as fast as it took them to be in complete silence one more time.

It wasn't that much awkward though. Peyton hummed a little nothing into Ben's ear when he stirred in her arms, and one more time Lucas found himself smiling softly at her.

"Can I offer you something?" Peyton said; truthfully, because deep inside she didn't want to say anything more pivotal or relevant as she probably should. In all honesty, she wasn't sure what she should tell him, really. Should she ask him why he had come? She couldn't. More than likely, he had come because he _needed_ to come; she couldn't him for that either.

Shaking his head slightly Lucas let out yet another chuckle as he brace himself to start explaining. He knew he didn't have to, but still…Peyton deserved at least that much even when she didn't think so. "I didn't know I was going to come, I– I was going to go over to Haley's, but…then...I just..."

"I know," Peyton filled in simply with a shrug of her shoulders when Lucas' voice faded.

That understanding alone in her voice was what made him stiff and swallow hard; she had always, _always_ got him.

Even when she probably shouldn't have, even when it had been wrong, she still always did it; and Lucas honestly didn't know what to do with that.

"Do you wanna…?" Peyton's attempt of a question hung in the air when she really couldn't form the rest of it.

This time around, it was Lucas' turn to nod his head in some kind of understanding. "I could do without talking about it right now," He said, and it took longer for him to say the words than for Peyton's mouth to shut completely.

Lucas smiled gently at that before looking around at the actually beautiful home he surely hadn't come often enough. Sure, he had come a good handful of times, but considering at some point Peyton had been considered as one of his closest friends – if not _the __closest_, he should have probably done a better job keeping in touch with her and her family over the years.

Especially considering who her husband was, but then again, maybe that was just part of it all. "Nathan…?" Lucas asked after a beat. His eyes were looking expectantly into hers even though it was obvious he wasn't home – had he been, she probably wouldn't be opening the door at one in the morning without thinking about it twice.

She was rather fearless; Lucas had always known that about her, and though some times that was something he actually loved and admired about her, some other times; it was also something he couldn't stand about her.

Why if earlier at that door it hadn't been him but a robber or…something like that?

Then again, probably a burglar wouldn't take the trouble to knock at her door, but still…

"Still on the road," Peyton replied simply as if it really didn't bother her. And in truth, after almost five years of marriage and almost eleven of dating him, it almost didn't bother her he wasn't around all that much anymore.

That was just one more time, other of the things she had gotten used to live with as she grew up.

Of course this wasn't the life she once envisioned when she was still a little girl and dreaming was still okay, but then again, the life she lead wasn't a bad life, it just was what it was and for the better part of time, it was a good enough one.

"He probably wouldn't like much the way I just crashed in here," Lucas said carrying a tad too apologetically with his voice for some reason.

Peyton smiled an actual honest smile at his words, and chuckled slightly when his head ducked. "He probably wouldn't, but you _are_ his brother and is not as if I'm gonna make out with you just to make him mad this time," She said genuinely in jest, and Lucas could only match her soft laughter after she did so first.

She was only half-joking though and of course Lucas knew that much.

"I didn't know who you were then," Lucas encountered also half-jokingly after a beat.

Peyton's lips pursed together but after a moment of staring firmly into his eyes, she shrugged her shoulders flippantly. "I didn't know who you were then either,"

"Don't think Nathan would care much about that though. Did you ever tell him?" Lucas tried asking, yet before the words to his question had completely escape his lips, Peyton was already shaking her head and scrunching up her face in that way she had done ever since they met each other once upon a time.

"I didn't see the point, I still don't, you–you are his brother," Peyton reminded them both one more time.

She sighed next and shifted her eyes away from his. It had been a very long time since they kissed – among other things, but now it really didn't seem to matter.

Or at the very least, it _shouldn__'__t_ matter much.

At some level it did however; Peyton had met him the very day of her eighteen birthday. Much to no one's surprise, she had fought that day with Nathan in the middle of the "party" and for one reason or another, ended up in that old forgotten basketball court none of the "cool" kids used to go. Especially not Nathan of course, but then again, he really hadn't matter when really all of a sudden, Peyton had found herself hanging out all day with a boy she really didn't know, who was new in town though he had been born there eighteen years ago too, and that surprisingly enough, made her feel well and enough for the time being.

It hadn't been a date per se – though they did go to places and talked and brushed their hands with each other sometimes – yet at the end of the day, when Lucas was seeing her to her home, he had pressed his lips all so softly to hers and she had loved it.

The next day however, Lucas was introduced as a _Scott_; one Peyton didn't know in person but knew well enough existed somewhere. He had been introduced as her boyfriend's brother so after the initial shock wore off, she smiled simply and shook hands with him pretending that was the first time they were seeing each other.

It really shouldn't be such a big deal, and it hadn't been, it had been just a kiss Peyton had given to a boy whilst she was mad at her own boyfriend. It wasn't cheating per se – they weren't together at the time, and it was just a kiss – just a kiss the two of them pretended successfully never happen until that very night.

"He does love you, you _do_ know that, don't you?" Lucas stated more-so than he asked, and Peyton wasn't oblivious at all as to why he was saying what he was saying that very instant.

Because of that, she chose to go with it; she nodded her head and forced a smile on her lips as she looked up at his eyes. "I know he does," She told him staring at him rather strongly and looking at him right in the eye. "All of it has been just hard," She let on and this time around, Lucas knew she wasn't talking just about her and what she and Nathan had gone through, but about him and Brooke too.

In the end, Lucas couldn't reply to her statement with his words so his settled simply nodding his head. That was all and so much that he could do in that instant.

_Faded flowers in your hand; the best that I could do  
>It's the only way I've had of reaching you<em>

"You bought me a teddy that night,"

Lucas couldn't help the smile that began playing on his lips at her words. He brought his head down and shook it though the smile gracing his lips was there and couldn't go away. She really wasn't subtle per se. The tension that had formed in the room hadn't been just too much for her, of course that for him too, so that was why Lucas smiled at her. Smiled at that easy, unforced way she had to take his mind off of the one too many remorseful thoughts that filled his mind every so often. "That's what girls like," Lucas told her through squinted eyes, and this time it was Peyton who had to smile at him.

"It was cheap,"

Lucas felt his mouth fall open a bit at her words. He didn't tell her anything for a small moment; he just…looked at her. He wasn't mad though. Not at all. She was right, and it didn't hurt his pride or anything of that sort. It was actually the polar opposite; her small words, and the twinkle in her eyes as she said them brought that nice but at the same time even bizarre warm to his heart. "I didn't have much at the time," His words came out only half-jokingly and Peyton knew as much.

"I know," She told him back simply with a small nod of her head.

"Did you keep it?" Lucas asked her before she could say anything else.

"Sure," Peyton said without giving the question any thought at all. She regretted it though, and by the way her air seemingly caught in her throat after that, Lucas was more than able enough to read her. He had always known how to do that with _her_. "It should be somewhere," Peyton added flippantly after a moment with a small shrug of her shoulders.

Lucas let out a chuckle at her, and Peyton could only stare at his smile as she painfully let one silly smile of her own tug at the corners of her lips as well. She didn't know why she did it; she just knew she _had_ to…

There was then a small whimper escaping from the lips of the little guy in her arms and it wasn't until that moment that Peyton reminded he was actually there. It really wasn't her fault or she had forgotten about him consciously, Ben really was that small, that even though he was almost one year old, when she held him in her arms he still felt as though he was the little baby she was holding for the first time almost eleven months ago.

"Shh," She cooed softly looking down at his flustered face before looking back up at Lucas when all the little boy did was shift slightly in her arms before he continued to slumber. "You're staying," She stated with a sincere smile knowing rather well that if she _"__offered__"_ Lucas to stay he would say _"__no__"_ at first, and then they would just argue for a good while until eventually he'd give in and decide upon staying as she had wanted him to do all along.

All in all, Peyton was really just sparing them both the trouble and telling him things bluntly as she always had when it had been about Lucas Scott.

She didn't even give Lucas time to reply when she was already getting up on her feet with his son in her arms and staring down at him in the other sofa with that soft –actually calming smile on her face. "Come on, it's late, Luke," She told him when at looking down into his eyes; she still managed to see that hint of hesitation in his eyes.

Their eyes stayed locked for a few more seconds until Lucas sighed and Peyton knew she'd succeeded.

"You can stay in the guest room," Peyton said just as Lucas began getting up of the sofa as well. "I'll get you some of Nathan's clothes in a bit so you can change – I assume you didn't bring anything for you?" She pretty much stated and all Lucas did was flash her that sheepish grin Peyton could not mistake to save her life. She chuckled as the two of them exited the living room after Lucas turned off the lights and Peyton turned on the ones of the hallway. "We'll set him in the nursery," She informed Lucas more than what she asked and yet it took only those few words to get them both silent and froze in place.

Peyton stroked gently Ben's small back before looking at Lucas over her shoulder and shrugging. "He'll be more comfortable there," She said as a lame explanation before attempting to go up the stairs as she genuinely willed.

"Peyt," Lucas honestly pleaded, grabbing gently her wrist into his hand preventing her to take another step.

She sighed heavily and shook her head looking down before she shifted sideways and their eyes were one more time meeting. "I don't mind," She told him honestly, even though the words didn't form easy. "It's a baby's room; he's a baby, just…" She trailed off shrugging her shoulders before tightly closing her eyes.

Lucas sighed as well and he could already feel the huge lump forming in this throat. After a beat, knowing better than to take that away from her too; Lucas let go of her arm and nodded his head.

The two of them walked upstairs quite silently; barely their breathings were hearable. That wasn't completely a bad thing though.

Lucas held open the door of the nursery as Peyton walked in with his baby boy cradled protectively to her chest. Ben was already on his PJs, so after Lucas nodded his head at her with that warm encouraging smile, all Peyton did was carefully place the small boy down into the crib in the middle of the light purple room.

It had been a while already since she last thought she would ever use that room again.

None of them utter a word yet all that was in need to be said was in the air; was in the stolen glances and shared smiles.

Both of them were in pain; none of them had been able to really heal, yet for one reason or another, here they were – _together_, and even though with no big gestures, speeches, or words, they were making each other feel just a little bit better.

If only for tonight.

_They're two lovers in the night…Waiting on the sun to rise  
>Passing ships into the night…Under different skies<em>

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><p><strong>AN : <strong>What y'all think ? :) Thanks for reading.


	2. II

**Author****'****s ****Note****: **Trying my best to answer some questions yet not give away everything with this chapter. Hopefully I found a balance. Thanks a lot again for reading even when I haven't been around for a while. Thank You.

(( The song I used for this story is "Be The One" by The Fray ))

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><p>Honestly, Peyton didn't quite plan to be gone for too long. She had peeked her head into the guest room and Lucas had been still sleeping when she did so. She had also peeked her head into the nursery, and to be honest, it had been a while since she had last seen a baby sleep as peacefully as Benny had been sleeping in that room.<p>

She really thought it would be okay if she stepped outside for just a little while. The grocery store wasn't too far away so she knew she would be back before anyone could have had the chance to miss her. And in truth, when all she did in bed was toss and turn, going to get some coffee surely didn't sound as such bad of an idea.

In spite of what she thought or didn't think however, the instant Peyton re-entered her home, she had been _"__welcomed_" with loud and full of anguish wails coming from the second storey of her house.

She tried hard not to feel taken aback at such sound, but when the loudest sound she had listened in that house for over six months had been her own breathings, that kind of cries where more than enough to made her freeze on her spot as she entered the house.

It however only took her a couple of minutes to gain control of her emotions one more time; the bag of coffee was put in the kitchen counter, and at a pace that was only a tad faster than her usual, Peyton made her way up the stairs and all the way into that nursery she hadn't been into in also a little less than six months.

Lucas had his son in his arms when Peyton walked in; despite that however, little to nothing was that doing to comfort the small boy. Lucas looked drained, tired and in all honesty, even when it broke Peyton's heart even more, _hopeless_.

He held onto Ben tightly; stroking his back and swinging him gently in his arms as if for comfort every so often.

Yet, in spite of Lucas' efforts, Ben continued to cry and fight his hold with all the might a one-year-old could have.

Peyton took in a deep breath before walking inside the bedroom; Lucas didn't even acknowledge her, but then again, if she was being honest with herself, she wasn't expecting him to do so. It was more than obvious he had a lot going on in that instant to even bother to take into account someone else's presence in that room.

She still made herself obvious in his eyes; with the back of her hand placed gently over Ben's back, Peyton leaned in closer to the two of them and stood on her tip-toes so that her eyes were aligned enough with Lucas'. "Just give him to me, it's okay," She said softly, yet firmly enough. Her eyes steadily and rather strongly fixed into Lucas' eyes.

He was taken aback by her; that was painfully obvious to Peyton, his eyes widened, and his breath was caught up in his throat at her voice and actions. She'd figured it couldn't be easy for him either; he was that little boy's father, if someone in the world should be able to calm him down that should be him, but in all honesty, right now Peyton just wanted to help…help them _both_ to be honest.

Lucas hesitated for more than a few seconds looking right back into her eyes; this whole mess had gotten much bigger than he ever imagined his life could get, so at last, genuinely defeated, he let go of Ben and took a step back as Peyton cradled his little boy into her arms. Lucas looked the other way as soon as his hands weren't holding on to his boy anymore, and his face fell without him even trying to do so…it just did. He was lost, and honestly, without hell of an idea as to what to do to fix it all.

Fix it for him, but more importantly, for that little boy in Peyton's arms.

Peyton on the other hand, didn't even try to comfort Ben, if someone could do it; that _had_ to be Lucas. She knew her efforts would be in vain too, so she simply held tightly to the boy and gave Lucas a moment or two before her hand tenderly tucked into his.

Lucas pretty much jumped startled at the touch, yet once he looked up from their intertwined hands, Peyton offered him that same soft smile she had always saved for him and him only.

Without uttering a single word, Peyton guided the three of them outside of the nursery and into that brightened open room at the end of the hallway. The curtains there had been already opened; the view, the vast window in that bedroom allowed them both to see that clear and raw picture of their hometown just as the day begun breaking before their eyes.

Soothingly, Peyton's hand moved up and down Lucas' arm before she leaned closer to him and rested her head softly against his arm. Lucas closed his eyes tightly at the feeling, and for some reason, even though Ben continued to cry just as he had found him earlier that day in the crib, he felt calm right now with her on his side.

Peyton knew, as much as Lucas should, that before he could calm down his little boy, he _had_ to calm down himself first. That was really just why she did what she did. She stayed calm herself and guided them both to that place in which some times, more often than not, she could find solace herself too.

It didn't take long then before Lucas' head was turning slightly and Peyton shifted up her own so that their eyes could meet. She didn't say a word and neither did him, and in all honesty, the words in that moment weren't much needed. The two of them knew what they were doing, and one way or another, it ought to work out.

"You okay?" Peyton asked him simply still looking into his eyes.

Lucas didn't respond for a small moment; his eyes darting back and forth between Peyton and the small boy snuggled in between them. Out of instinct really, Lucas ran his thumb delicately over Peyton's cheek before nodding his head.

He was ready indeed now, so Peyton did what she had left to do in that instant; just as gently as she had been holding the boy the whole time, she handed him over to Lucas so that now one more time, it was his father who could comfort him.

If she were completely honest with herself and anyone else, Peyton knew she wasn't lying when she said she wasn't surprised when Ben's sobs fast began dying down as soon as his father held him in his arms. All the two of them needed was a little help, and in truth, that was exactly what Peyton did for them.

Once she drew away from the two boys and Ben's sobs had died to slight hiccups, it didn't take them all that long to sit in silence for a moment in the small futon beside them in that room.

"He woke up me from a dead sleep and I swear I didn't know what to do, he…he's usually not like that,"

Lucas' quiet explanation to her – that mostly felt for Peyton as an explanation directed to himself, was enough to made her let out a soft chuckle as she turned her head and stared at Lucas. For a few seconds, she just looked at him with a soft smile painted on her lips; Ben was still a little withdrawn; his head deeply burrowed in the crook of Lucas' neck, and his thumb strongly tucked into his mouth. He still looked a tad too frightened for Peyton's taste, yet his breathing was slow and calm now; honestly, that was kind of enough for Peyton right now.

"He just needed to know you were still here," She told Lucas honestly before her eyes shifted to the beautiful view before them.

Lucas breathed deeply at her words before nodding his head; no words could really form in his mouth.

"More likely the last thing he saw last night before drifting off to sleep was _you_; just imagine what it'll feel to wake up and find that person gone and you alone in a place you had never been before…?" Peyton continued explaining softly; her eyes slowly closing and her head resting completely against the sofa.

It wasn't until that moment; when her eyes so softly fell shut, that Lucas allowed a smile to tug at the corners of his lips. He knew that if she were looking at him, even if her eyes were closed, she could still see him and his smile, so he really didn't wait so he could hide it, it was that quiet peace he saw in her features as she closed her eyes that made him feel as if it was okay to smile at last.

"I went to check on you before checking on him," Lucas confessed rather shyly and his few words were enough to made Peyton chuckle one more time.

That boy was honestly so predictable.

"I thought you'd want some coffee, so I went to get you some," Peyton explained, right before her eyes fluttered open again and she fixed them into Lucas'

That soft smile on his face was really kind of making her want to smile too.

"_You_ from all people ran out of coffee?" Lucas questioned unable not to sound a tad incredulously. Even if time had passed by, he knew Peyton Sawyer. For better or for worse, he could still say he knew what that girl before his eyes liked and didn't.

Or at the very least, he was _almost_ sure he did.

"Don't keep any anymore." Peyton replied simply and fairly flippantly before her hand reached up stroking tenderly Ben's chubby cheek. "Do you think he's hungry already?" She asked as her eyes shifted up searching for Lucas', yet she couldn't help when her hand lingered in the touch of the baby's oh-so very soft skin.

Perhaps Lucas should have pushed her a little bit more; make her explain or something of that sort. Being in the same place she was at, he honestly couldn't do it, so he simply nodded his head and looked down at Benny with a small smile on his face. "Are you up for some breakfast little man?" He asked lifting up the boy slightly so that he was properly sat up over his lap. "I bet he is," Lucas replied for Ben looking up at Peyton when all his baby boy did was look around and smile shyly at everything he saw – for Lucas contentment, even at Peyton.

After everything she'd done, whether she admitted it or not, Lucas was glad that at least, Benny was awesome enough to give her a smile.

She deserved at least that much, really.

It didn't take long after Lucas assent before the three of them were walking down the stairs. Peyton motioned Lucas to take a seat in the counter, which he reluctantly did as she set up the coffee machine.

He would help her – with whatever he could really, but with his little boy still shy as he's never been gripping to him, wordlessly telling him not to let him down on the floor, it was very little what Lucas could do in order to help her out with breakfast.

In any case, however, Lucas couldn't help but laugh sincerely –_for __the __first __time __in __months_– when Peyton took out of the fridge what he assumed was what they'd have for breakfast.

"What?" She asked rather innocently from the counter. If Lucas didn't know better, he could swear she was pouting. "Haley knows I like them so sometimes she just brings a bunch so I can just heat them whenever I'd like and…guess what?" Her eyebrows were way raised as she asked the question and all Lucas could do in return was laugh a little bit more at her antics. "I'd like some today with you," She said laughing slightly herself too before taking out a few chocolate-chip pancakes she so generously wanted to share with Lucas and Benny today.

He should _really_ appreciate the gesture; she loved those!

"You know Bennie, if Haley did the pancakes then we're safe, you really don't have to worry about your Aunt Peyton here intoxicating you, she saves that just for Daddy…"

Peyton rolled her eyes dramatically, yet at the same time couldn't help but laugh at his words. "It was just that _one_ time Lucas Scott and you know I didn't even mean it," She stressed pointedly, looking at Lucas right in the eye before she laughed again, and this time around, so did Lucas.

It had been years ago, she really had no idea how he could still remember –perhaps the same as she remembered but that wasn't the point. Because seriously, all she had wanted that day was to be nice to him and make him breakfast even though it was the middle of the night, only because he had actually helped her painting her bedroom. It really hadn't been her fault the eggs hadn't been good, she'd meant well!

"Whatever you say," Lucas said mockingly getting up on his feet and walking with Ben still in his arms so that the two of them where right behind Peyton and the pancakes.

"I wouldn't do that to you peanut," Peyton cooed taking her eyes off of the stove and the pan with pancakes for just a second so that she could crouch down slightly and nuzzle playfully her nose against Bennie's. "Would not," She insisted with a chuckle looking up into Lucas' eyes right before the sound of the front door closing startled them and both their heads snapped in the kitchen's door direction expectantly at whoever was about to walk in.

In that instant, Peyton couldn't honestly help the smile that slowly, yet very surely creep to her lips. "You're home," She whispered simply the very moment her eyes locked with Nathan's.

There was a moment then in which she turned around motioning Lucas with her head to take over the stove for her. Yet, even though he told her immediately an "I got it," Peyton had no other choice but to take the boy from his hands as Lucas took over the pancakes – not that she minded, but honestly, Nathan probably would.

Any of that however, stop Peyton from greeting him. He could well be mad at her later, but right now, in that very instant, all she cared was that he was home.

"I've missed you," Peyton said as she kissed gently Nathan's cheek still with their little nephew in her arms. Peyton would be lying if she said she wasn't glad Ben wasn't fussing because he wasn't with Lucas anymore; right now he really just seemed focus looking every so often up at Nathan and then at everything around him before his head found again the crook of Peyton's neck.

Nathan then said his greetings back, yet when his eyes found Lucas one more time, Peyton knew that was her cue to chime in again. "Luke got here yesterday," She told him rather flippantly as the two of them started walking further into the kitchen. "I gotta ran to the studio in a little while but I told Lucas he could stay with Bennie for as long as he wanted to," She explained to Nathan who in return only nodded his head after having shook hands with his brother.

Their relationship was far – far away from ideal, but at the very least, the two of them had learned over the years to be civil in each other's presence.

Lucas then ended up serving breakfast for all four of them – including his son of course, and between small talk meant exclusively to catching up in mere vain things and nothing more, breakfast was over and as Lucas went up the stairs to change Bennie into fresh clothes, Peyton was then at last left alone with her husband.

Unfortunately however, this time around his visit wasn't going as smoothly as it probably should considering they hadn't seen each other in over two months already.

"What did you want me to tell him?"

"I don't know, to get an hotel, his mom, that Haley girl, I don't know Peyton, that he could stay anywhere but here," Nathan was far too fast to reply and Peyton couldn't help but clench her teeth as he spoke.

"He…" Peyton tried, but her voice was caught up in her throat before she could keep going.

Why couldn't Nathan just _understand_? Lucas was going through a hard time just like the two of them were, only worse really. At the very least, Nathan should _try_ to understand him. He was his brother for Heaven's sake!

"He's dealing with a lot lately, and…he's carrying around with a baby," Peyton said softly, her head shaking ever so slightly. "God Nathan, his wife died not even six months ago," She said somewhat brokenly when she couldn't think in any other words to reach Nathan's humanity and compassion for that so-called brother of his.

In any case, Peyton's words –and perhaps too the stubborn tears that she couldn't fight back when they began forming in her eyes– seemingly did do their job and Nathan's guard fell. Behind that tough front there was still a heart of gold that even though Peyton didn't get to see often, eventually, every now and again, she could do it as she looked right into his eyes.

"Not even if I wanted to do it I could just send away my best friend's son because you can't get past whatever is that that you feel for Lucas…" Peyton added quietly after a moment and as hard as it was, she bore with the heavy tension that formed in that room before a few moments later, Nathan simply stepped out of it.

Honestly, that was what he did; Peyton knew it, at this point, she was even used to it, she knew Nathan; that inability to confront things and problems head on, his inability to face that pain and hurt he was feeling so that they could fix their problems instead of pretending they weren't there in the first place.

Then again, he would be gone again soon enough, so hopefully, by the time he came back for his next visit –whenever that happened to be– he'd already forgotten about Lucas ever coming and the two of them ever having that conversation about him.

Peyton could at least hope so anyway.

_Be the one and only, wait for me…  
>Will you be the only one?<br>Will you be, be the one and only?  
>Wait for me; will you be the only one?<em>

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>**: **Now you know at least some things. Working on the next update already :) Thanks for reading.


	3. III

**Author's Note : **Long Chapter making up a little for the last one. A lot going on so just let me know if you get lost somewhere. Thanks a lot for reading.

* * *

><p>There were days, sometimes many, sometimes just a few when she could actually wish she could stop time. Not for so long, not forever, just for a little while. Just for a moment long enough to get her act together again, to pull herself together, to remind herself what was that that passionate her once upon a time and really, just a moment to remember just why she wanted to keep going…<p>

Why she _needed_ to keep going…

Unlike Lucas, Nathan left not two full days after he arrived. Season, pre-season, post-season, Peyton really couldn't be sure anymore, all that she knew for sure was that he wasn't there because he was simply playing ball somewhere else.

In any case, that _'truth'_ was certainly easier to believe some days more than others. Today especially, not being one of those _'easy'_ days unfortunately.

Lucas in her home however, didn't mean Peyton got to see him all that often though. Sure, in the last few days, breakfast, dinner and the occasional "lunch-date" would happen, but she still had her life.

One in which not Lucas, not Ben were really part of it. She was still committed to her work and husband just as she was before Lucas showed up in her doorsteps eleven days ago. Even if having Lucas around her meant baby laughs filling the empty spaces of her house, that didn't mean for a second that she could get used to it all.

That wasn't her life, and even though the hard way, Peyton had learned already how it couldn't be her life.

Then again, she was really only one human being; she could only be so strong to fight it all to get to her, right?

And in truth, it just amazed her; a whole lot more than just that really. He had every right in the world to be cranky and simply plain miserable if he wanted to, yet instead, he was smiling up at her as if nothing was really wrong with him right now. His eyes were the clearest blue Peyton had ever seen – _excepting for Lucas' sometimes though_– but right now, even though they still glistened with all those tears he simply hadn't shed; those same pair of blue eyes were also sparkling hints of hope that felt ever so foreign to Peyton these days.

"I still don't understand why wouldn't you just tell me you hadn't had it before?"

Peyton looked up at Lucas as he spoke and at that same time as she shrugged her shoulders, she also couldn't help but sheepishly smile up at him. "You never asked," She pointed out far too innocently before bringing her eyes down to Ben in her arms one more time. "He looks so much better now," She noted as she successfully ignored Lucas' concerned look on her.

In all honesty, she just had been genuinely concerned herself for Bennie when Lucas called her, to even stop to care about herself too much.

She really didn't think about it too much until it had been too late already.

All in all, she was doomed to get the chickenpox eventually, right? Now it had just happened latter rather than sooner – she was already close to her twenty-seven birthday after all, but at this point in time, there was really very little or nothing she could do to take back the last couple of days.

"He does," Lucas agreed after a moment, yet Peyton couldn't help but smile slightly at that tad of annoyance his voice carried. Deep down of course she liked that he worried about her too. "But you heard the doctor; this is going to be ten times worse on you than in Ben," Lucas scolded away, and that time around, Peyton's smile was fast to fade and her words at the same time were also fast to form.

"I'm a big girl," She told him firmly when at last their eyes met.

"The doctor said it could even be dangerous," Lucas was fast as well and for a few seconds all Peyton could do, was purse her lips together as he carried on. So okay, she didn't _always_ like it when he cared as much. "You have _got_ to take this seriously," He stated strongly right before taking into his arms the –_former_– smiling little boy from hers.

"Just drop it, all right? I don't – I don't want you doing this," Peyton said back softly as she began getting up from the couch. "I'm gonna be upstairs in my room. Make sure that he sleeps but also don't forget to give him his meds," Calmly she told him as she gave Ben's head a small kiss, and headed up into her bedroom.

Had she give Lucas the chance to do so, he would have probably told her back how he _couldn't_ drop it. How he in a way felt actually responsible of her getting sick, but most importantly, that he felt as though he _had_ to take care of her perhaps for the very same strong reasons that made _her_ stay with him and Ben in the hospital for the last three days despite what it brought on her afterwards.

In any case, Lucas didn't do any of that, because before he knew it, she was already out of his sight.

He let it go, but really, only for a little while.

When Lucas made again his way downstairs into the living room after putting Ben to bed, the aged clock on top the sideboard showed 6:30pm. The medicine the doctors had gave to his boy to keep his fever low also made him a little too groggy at the same time which had actually made the job to put him to bed a whole lot easier for Lucas.

By 6:45 that evening, he had already ordered in some soup and as he told himself, all Lucas was doing when he went upstairs –_again_, this time not to Bennie's bedroom per se though, but directing himself towards Peyton's bedroom, was just what any other _concerned_ friend would have done when Peyton didn't do any sort of attempt of stepping out of that bedroom for over seven hours.

It was the right thing to do, right?

In any case, Lucas couldn't help when at entering the bedroom quietly –he knocked, she just didn't answered– his breath was caught up in his throat at the sight of her sleeping form in that bed. He hated himself for it, but he couldn't help it either. Her silky blonde hair was that same untamed tangle of curls he used to remember and did all so clearly now still.

Peyton stirred slightly and mumbled undistinguishable words when Lucas' broad hand rested over her forehead.

"Did you take your pills?" Lucas asked her softly, fighting back the silly smile that started playing on his lips as he saw her fairly sleepy eyes.

Peyton waited in silence for another good moment as she slowly flipped onto her back and even though she kept her eyes closed, she still acknowledged Lucas somewhat. "They make me groggy," She said sleepily as she stroked a bit her eyes with the palm of her hands. "A silly fever is not going to kill me, I promise," She added after just a beat, not ignoring just why Lucas' hand still lingered against her own skin.

She was kind of far too warm and that fact wasn't lost on any of them.

"Bennie…?"

"Asleep, don't you worry about him," Lucas told her honestly with a soft smile on his face. Being completely honest, she was still half-asleep and probably would not even remember about that conversation the next day, but even so, there she was, anyway worrying about his boy.

Peyton sighed deeply after a beat, and Lucas couldn't possibly stop himself from doing that very same thing. The pad of his forefinger brushed gently one last time against Peyton's cheek before he slowly drew away from her.

"I miss her, Luke," Peyton mumbled far too quietly as she shifted onto her side one more time and moved closer to Lucas' side when he stretched out his arms slightly.

Her head rested on his lap and Lucas' hands instinctively traveled into her tousled curls. "I know," Lucas said back just as softly, and actually, knowing with all certainty what she meant.

He _did_ know.

In a way, she wasn't just talking about herself, and her pain and her ache, but about Lucas' too and he knew as much.

"I still don't understand why you came. You knew she was already gone when you got there, didn't you?" Lucas went on to ask, yet he couldn't help but sound rather earnestly; his head shaking slightly yet his features soft and gentle. He never stopped to stroke her head and Peyton slowly felt sleep and at the same time peace washing over her as he spoke for some reason.

This was the first time in almost six months that Peyton had allowed herself to say those three little words she had been keeping for herself only. If she could say so herself, this might as well also be the first time in almost six months that Lucas was allowing himself to remind and talk about what happened or didn't happened on that occasion.

Her eyes stayed closed yet after another moment or two, Peyton managed to brace herself and talk to him as she probably shouldn't, but in any case, did _need_ in a way. She really couldn't keep all that inside her any longer. "That morning…that morning I woke up and I knew something was wrong. I didn't know what or why, I…but I just did," She struggled to explain but still did so nonetheless. For one reason or another, she knew this was just what she had to do; if not completely for herself, then for Lucas she'll do it.

It was darn too hard though; her voice was nothing more of an audible whisper and all Lucas could possibly do in return was nod his head even though their eyes were far from meeting and she couldn't really see what he was doing. But still, he also knew how saying something back to her right now wouldn't be of any help whatsoever, so perhaps staying quiet wasn't that much of a mistake.

"You called. I–I didn't, I couldn't think about anything more, I don't think I _wanted_ to. I just…You called and I just got into the first plane I could find. I…I really just didn't want to think about anything else. I guess I so desperately just wanted to pretend that none of it was happening and that everything was just a dream – a _nightmare_ I'd wake up sooner or later…" Her voice faded slowly into the air for a moment and unconsciously her head began shaking. "But…then I landed in New York and I just knew it, it was…_over_. All of it was. It wasn't a dream…Both of them were gone by the time I got there so…I don't know, there was nothing I could do about it anymore so I just…I just waited it out, I guess…"

"I can't imagine what you went through; how much it hurt you and it…Peyton it just _kill_ me I wasn't there for you." Lucas struggled to say back to her, yet was able enough to force that earnest apology out. The words were just thick and hard in his throat. Honestly, he couldn't genuinely bear in mind another moment in this life when he had felt as guilty as he was feeling in that moment.

Peyton however stayed completely quiet as he spoke and then when he finished she also wasn't sure as to what to tell him, so she didn't say anything at all.

Not for a while at least.

"You didn't have to be there for me," Peyton went on to say so softly that Lucas almost missed it. His head tilted down slightly and he painfully caught sight of how tightly she had her eyes closed. Face it all was as hard as it could be, yet reliving it now couldn't be easier and Lucas should have known better but to push her into talking that evening.

Peyton went quiet for another more minutes after that; she didn't say anything but ever so slightly shook her head against Lucas' lap until she simply uttered those five small words that did hell of a job breaking Lucas' heart even more if that were even possible.

"Nathan blames me for it, you know?"

She said quietly and Lucas could hardly keep it together. He shook his head and closed his eyes strongly inwardly cursing that alleged brother of his. "It wasn't your fault," He told her; his forefinger gently tucked under her chin and even though she didn't want to, Peyton opened her eyes as he spoke. "It was no one's fault," Lucas insisted one more time, and Peyton wasn't one little bit oblivious as to how those words weren't directed only to convince her about that, but also_ him_ at some level.

"I just miss them, Luke…both of them," Peyton said quietly one more time. Her eyes stayed open for a little while longer; she steadily held her stare on Lucas' eyes until it simply became too much and the stung of tears in her own eyes made her look away and slowly let her eyelids fell shut again.

No more words were spoken after that and for Peyton all that meant was that though wordlessly Lucas agreed with her. He kept stroking her hair for a while and eventually Lucas could tell she had fallen asleep even though he wasn't looking at her eyes per se. Her breathing slowed down and became even after a few minutes and Lucas allowed himself to be glad because of that.

He stayed knelt in front of her and next to her bed for another good moment before he stepped outside and let her rest. He needed to see her though for some reason.

The very instant right before he got up from the floor, his right hand reached her face and he stroked it tenderly as his lips brushed that soft perfect kiss against her forehead.

"That night that I met you, I…I thought I could love you then."

_But you just whisper what you said…One last time  
>I could have sworn I heard you say that you are mine<em>

The next days were long days for the three of them; especially for Lucas if he could dare to say so himself, but in the end, he really wasn't the one who was sick. He took care anyway for the two of them; Ben and Peyton were the two and only people in his words for two whole weeks. His baby boy was up and running past the eleven day; Peyton on the other hand, couldn't get rid of the fever and constant itching until the sixteen day. Lucas didn't mind it really though; for one reason or another; he enjoyed taking care of her. She hated she couldn't do things herself, and in a way being that person who helped her do what she couldn't made Lucas feel good about himself.

The days passed by slowly and since it was better for both his son and Peyton to stay indoors for Lucas' home-care, they talked. They talked a lot and about everything in those days. It was as if being back to senior year when they were merely best friends and the rest of the world didn't matter when they were talking about music or books or life itself.

They never talked about big matters though. For all Lucas cared and knew; Peyton didn't remember that conversation the other night, and to be honest, he was more than okay with that. He didn't want her reliving that pain, and even though he knew it was selfish, he didn't want to relive his own either.

Those two weeks, despite the medicines and discomforts that getting the chickenpox gave them all, for Lucas it was as if getting his best friend back…more than that. He had got back that once all so very cherished person in his life he had lost as time gone by but got back if only for a couple of weeks.

"We're wai–" Peyton's words stuck in her throat as she stepped into the bedroom. Her eyes narrowed and quite guardedly, she stared firmly at Lucas. She wasn't mad at him – not at all, but in truth, she wasn't too pleased either. "…waiting for you," She finished her statement after a beat and took Lucas only those same seconds to drop the small picture from his hands and back into place. "What are you looking at?" She asked upon his silence towards her even when Peyton more than clearly knew what he was looking at.

"I wasn't snooping, I swear," Lucas drawled out back after a moment. Even though he was sure he hadn't done anything –too– bad, he knew it wasn't –too– right either. "I was just gathering Ben's things and then I…I, I'm sorry, Peyt," He apologized when to be honest he had no idea what else to tell her.

Peyton held her stare into Lucas' eyes for a fair moment before she just turned around slightly steeping out into the small hallway outside the nursery. For some reason, Lucas couldn't help but hold his breath when she turned away from him. He let it out soon enough though when he could listen just _why_ she had done it and just _what_ she was doing.

"Come on, you gotta show Daddy what you can do…"

Her voice was so warm and sweet that Lucas felt his heart swell even before his eyes caught her again and he saw what she wanted him to.

It didn't take too long until he did so though; only a few seconds after he heard Peyton calling his son, Lucas managed to see that same little boy, on his feet, padding clumsily into the nursery.

Peyton was right behind him; helping Ben up every time his weight got the best of him and he fell as he kept trying his very first proper steps. Lucas felt pride and raw bliss washing over him, and he couldn't, not for the life of him, take that huge grin away from his face.

Those matching smiles, both of them; Ben's and Peyton's, as his little boy hit that very important milestone. Peyton had been working with him; not just with his walking but also with his new words and colors and even some numbers too. Lucas knew all that, yet actually seeing his boy accomplishing that little goal, with her help, warmed his heart to its deepest depths and he simply couldn't help it.

"Look at you!" Lucas noted with a genuine smile on his face. One of those he honestly had thought he'd never wear again. His eyes stayed down on Bennie for a good moment before he just shifted them up and met Peyton's.

Lucas didn't exactly tell her something and neither did she; she only continued to laugh when one more time, Bennie fell onto the floor; his goofy butt first and of course he scowled as he all too "seriously" attempted to get up of the floor again.

"I don't mind that you went all snoopy into my things," Peyton told Lucas when all three of them had settled down a bit after a while. Ben had busied himself with the one too many toys in that nursery, and Lucas and Peyton had both sat on the tiny couch at the end of the room.

Lucas knew she meant what she said, and the fact that she said the words kind of in jest told him she genuinely wasn't mad at him. He still was sorry though and deep down he was well aware of how he shouldn't have done it. Not for his sake, and perhaps, not for Peyton's either.

"I didn't mean to anyway." Lucas voiced his apology in spite of Peyton's little smile on him. "She just…she caught my eyes, she…Peyt, she was beautiful. I bet she would have been a wonderful little girl." Lucas told her earnestly and even though Peyton felt a big lump forming in her throat she still made herself nod her head and keep smiling at him.

"Thank you," Peyton found herself saying after a moment with a small shrug of her shoulders; that one didn't mean at all she didn't care though; the polar opposite really. "Hm…s-she'd be almost five months now," She let on, and one more time Lucas felt his heart breaking at that pain that every so often consumed her. "I held her, you know? I did and Nathan…he did too but…it all is just hard on him. I-I just don't think he ever thought that was how he would first hold his daughter…"

Lucas nodded his head at her solemn words and after a beat pulled that fragile blonde gently to his side. He kissed the crown of her head as no other man could kiss her and at the feeling, Peyton let herself smile. "Al–Allison, right?" Lucas asked softly and almost immediately, she nodded against his chest.

"Allie, yeah," Peyton answered drawing away from Lucas enough so that their eyes met. There was a smile on her face but even though Lucas knew it wasn't fake at all, it wasn't a happy smile either. It was sad, but then again, at the same time reminiscing…perhaps, the feeling she felt was bittersweet at the thought of what could have been. "Brooke…she was so happy when we told her she'd be in the baby's name after we found out it was a girl…"

At those last words, Lucas one more time nodded his head. He remembered more than well the day Nathan and Peyton called him and Brooke to New York announcing their baby-to-be was a _girl _and that in honor of Peyton's best friend, they would give their daughter the name "_Brooke"_ as her middle name. They had however kept the baby's first name for themselves –_much for Brooke's dismiss_– but promised they all would know it once the baby was born and they came home to meet her.

None of that ever happened in the end however, yet about one month or two after Brooke and Allie passed away, Lucas had found out that "_Allie_" had been the name they gave to their small daughter even when she never got the chance to make it to the world.

_Allison Brooke Scott_

"It is a beautiful name, I remember that day," Lucas said nodding his head a bit, as he spoke. And to be honest, he actually remembered much more than he actually wished he did. He hadn't even noticed. He hadn't even _cared_ to notice. Peyton's baby girl had died sometime around the same time his wife did so. Lucas had had everybody's support – including Peyton's at that, while she…for those two weeks after it all happened she didn't had anyone. She stayed strong for him and Ben while inside she was dying too…literally.

Not only her best friend had died almost seven months ago now…her daughter did too and Lucas had been so drown into his own grief to notice her. That…that was exactly what killed Lucas and made it all too hard to look at her eyes without feeling immense pain for her…pain and guilt and remorse and a whole lot of awful feelings he simply knew he couldn't give name to even if he wanted.

He _should _have been there for her just as she had been there for him. That was the way things always where between them until…until sadly one day they just weren't.

"Yeah, yeah it is," Peyton agreed softly with Lucas when doing otherwise was honestly impossible.

"You know Ben was supposed to be with her," Lucas said seemingly into the air after a moment yet almost immediately as he spoke Peyton's eyes narrowed with raw confusion. "Yeah, that day in the plane with Brooke and all. He was only five months old at the time; Brooke was still nursing, but…I don't know why, the night before the flight she simply decided an almost seven hour flight to Italy was one too long flight for such small baby so she just told me Ben would be better off with me for those two weeks she'd be gone…" Lucas let his voice slowly trail off in the air and Peyton swallowed hard at the admission as she also shook her head ever so slightly.

"I never ever thought something like this could happen…Some days I still think it didn't. Some days I still wake up and think it never did, you know?"

Lucas nodded his head because one more time, he_ did_ know.

"The other day you told me you couldn't imagine what I went through, but…you do Luke, that's why you're here," Peyton told him honestly with a sad smile painted on her lips as she shifted and her eyes found his.

"You remember?" Lucas questioned her regarding that night he actually assumed she had no memory of. And in truth, he didn't even think the words to his question; they just slipped from his lips before he could do anything about it.

Peyton shrugged her shoulders before she nodded her head. Of course she remembered; she wasn't as sick or groggy or asleep not to. She had said a lot that night and he had listened. It had been so long since someone had last done that for her…she honestly couldn't forget…not even if she wanted to.

And to be completely honest, of course she didn't.

"Hey," Peyton called rather softly when Lucas' face fell a tad. He didn't want to, she knew that much, but after a beat he looked up at her eyes. "You don't have to be strong and pretend it doesn't hurt you still. Not with me," She promised with a warm smile on her face. Her eyes stayed on Lucas' for another moment or two before she got up from the small sofa and walked by closer to the crib in the middle of the room.

She started gathering up a few blankets and putting them back in their places; she wasn't saying a single word or doing anything out of the ordinary at all, yet Lucas couldn't take his eyes off of her even to save his life. "Did they ever tell you why it happened?" He asked into the air a moment later. Peyton knew what he was talking about; her arms however came to rest protectively around herself at his words. Talk about it all, it didn't matter it was Lucas and he meant well, it _never _get easier. "The doctors I mean…"

It took Peyton another moment but after a few seconds, she turned around so that she was meeting Lucas' eyes with her own. "Not exactly, they just said it was something to do with her heart," She explained in spite of herself and in spite of how heavy and thick the words felt in her mouth.

Lucas nodded his head in quiet understanding. What else could he possibly do, right? Bad hearts run in his family, that wasn't any news, yet in his heart it simply felt ridiculously unfair that little person –_who_ was Peyton's daughter, had been a victim of it all too. She stood by one of the cupboards in silence then. Her fingers tracing over the very same picture Lucas had been looking at when Peyton walked into the room earlier.

He hadn't been lying when he told her that little girl had caught his eye. In that picture she looked as if she was simply sleeping…peacefully and just waiting for someone to pick her up and rock her a bit in her arms. Her hair was blonde and her skin seemed as soft as the most delicate of kisses. When she was born, she had been almost ready to come out; only a few weeks left, yet for one reason or another, she simply hadn't made it. Lucas felt the tears in his eyes with just looking at that beautiful picture of that perfect little girl, in all honesty, Peyton had been wrong, he could only _imagine_ how much it hurt. He loved Brooke, of course he did, but the pain he felt simply couldn't compare to the one he knew his blonde friend had been feeling for the last months. "You know Nathan was wrong then, right?" Lucas asked fairly quietly. He didn't wait for her to say something before he too got up from the sofa and walked so that the two of them were so closely together. Peyton didn't think, she just turned to him when he was close enough to touch and she felt him on her side. The tears, those very same she had kept for herself and herself only for the last seven months came rushing in waves as her head found his shoulder and his hands wrapped around her weary body. "Shh, it's okay." Lucas whispered into her ear. He told her that not because he thought in that precise moment things were okay, but simply because he did think it was okay for her to cry on his shoulder if that was what she needed.

He'd be there and wait; that was much more than just a promise he did to himself in that very instant with her breaking down in his arms.

It took Lucas very little and only a few seconds before he moved them both back to sofa and sat there as Peyton kept her head burrowed in his chest. She didn't want to move away and Lucas knew better but to push her to move or say anything really. His son had been a little startled when Peyton began crying but though Lucas could see in his innocent eyes quiet concern that wasn't at all customary to a one year old boy, Ben still stayed put and didn't do a thing to interrupt his father and aunt. He looked at the two of them for a good moment until he simply moved closer to the two of them yet not reaching them still. He sat quietly in front of the sofa with one of the stuffed animals Peyton had given him and just stared at them silently for a little while longer.

Lucas' attention was mostly on Peyton of course, yet he couldn't help when a small smile came across his face when he saw Bennie; he was so easy, so gentle and calm all the time. In the last seven months, that little boy before them was the very reason why he hadn't break down and fall. Lucas had him and because of him, he had pushed through the darkness and kept going. Peyton had any of that; she instead had a husband who blamed her, Lucas couldn't think for the life of him in a thing more unfair that just that. She deserved _so_ much better.

"Hey you…" Lucas called warmly once Peyton's sobs died down slightly and all that was left of it was the frame of a broken girl hiccupping in his arms every so often. Peyton smiled back at him with gratitude filling her features; she never thought she needed him to be there, but taking her completely aback was the knowledge that she genuinely did it. For seven whole months, she was strong, stoic and dealt head on with it all; that wasn't what she had needed all along though. She had needed this; she had needed _him_. Her face was so flushed, filled with so many tears; some dried upon her soft cheeks and some still watery lingering over her skin. Lucas wasn't thinking, he just did what he felt; he reached up his thumb and tenderly wiped away a few tears off of her face. She was so beautiful; she really was, just as he remembered her being eight years ago when he met her for the first time.

Things would have been so different if only she hadn't been his brother's girlfriend at the time. That night after he had met her Lucas hadn't sleep, not one single bit; his mind had stayed with that sad little blonde girl that he thought had even stole his heart the very instant her lips had met his. Lucas had been so sure she would be so much more than the girl he softly kissed the night before; he had known he wanted more, more of her, he wanted it all with her, but…then morning came and all he thought _"could be"_ was shattered because she was never really his, but his brother's…

That hurt, even now, even eight years later…

"What are you doing?" Peyton couldn't help but ask when Lucas' lips came so close to hers and she felt completely lost as to what was happening. In that moment she wasn't thinking either, just as he obviously wasn't…she pulled back from him and in only mere seconds, she was standing all across from him in the room. "Lucas…I…that…" The words were stuck in her throat and even though she was trying as hard as she ever had, she couldn't make sense of any of it.

"Peyton…" Lucas pleaded; he didn't know what had gotten into him, he really didn't, he just knew he wanted…needed to kiss her.

Peyton shook her head in rapid jerks as he tried to spoke…this all was simply wrong. Too wrong. "No, you…maybe it's time for you to leave Lucas," She blurted out bluntly before her mind could go anywhere after what he did…or at least, tried to do. This just wasn't right. She knew that much. "What are you even doing? This last month…" She gasped frustrated and her voice faded in the air before she could finish her statement.

"Don't tell me you don't know what I'm doing," Lucas called after a moment when the words simply began forming in his lips. His voice wasn't as soft anymore and Peyton had been taken aback at that. It was even rising a bit and she couldn't understand what the heck he was saying. "Because I'm not in this alone, you'd been here the whole time and this game – pretending you and –"

"What game?" Peyton asked somewhat confused cutting him off. "You need to move on with your life Lucas, for you and for Bennie, and so do I…this, you here is not doing any good anymore…" Her face fell and she began shaking her head in only seconds.

Lucas swallowed hard looking at her but honestly couldn't let this go. Perhaps she didn't know it, but a whole lot was at stake. "Look at me in the eye and tell me you don't wish I had fought harder for you? That you don't wish sometimes you'd told Nathan you knew me already back then?" His head shook and his sentence trailed off for a beat. He couldn't stop now though. "How I knew you then…We made a mistake and you know it," Lucas stated seriously and in a way even hurt. This wasn't the first time he had thought about this all; he had spent nights, even days at the time thinking in all those "What ifs?" that could have make both his and Peyton's life so different from what they were right now.

Peyton on the other hand, knew his thoughts, all that with just look into his eyes. Of course she'd even done it too, her fair share of haunted nights with that crystal blue eye boy she couldn't help but think about from time to time, but…right now it was different, all of it was, she couldn't let herself go there now. All those were just _thoughts_; thoughts brought to her mind in moments of weakness and of pain so big and unbearable that thinking in the life she could have had _if only_ she had made this or that instead of what she actually did was the only thing she could do to find solace. Today wasn't one of those days however. "Don't do this Lucas. You can't, you _shouldn't_. That…that happened a long time ago; you are my best friend and I swear to you I don't want that to change, but…damn it Luke, Brooke was like a sister to me, you know that…" She told him honestly. Her words weren't sharp or rude, yet Lucas was absolutely positive she shouldn't be saying any of that. She really shouldn't.

"I was the freaking matron of honor in your wedding," She told him that as if Lucas could actually forget it and couldn't help when her voice carried a tad pitched. "And N-Nathan…" His name heavy with guilt in her lips. "Nathan is your brother, hell, I am his wife. You…You…don't do this Luke. You and I, we both have lives to go back to, and certainly the other is not in those lives–"

"But we could be," Lucas interrupted her with heavy words of his own. Desperation and even despair lacing his voice.

"No…no we can't," Peyton said shaking her head decisively. And for Lucas, there she was; that very same stubborn like hell girl he used to know. He hated and loved her in that moment more than he had in any other time. "Your life is in New York; mine is not. I live here, I'm happy with that and I have a husband so just…just quit it, Lucas," She told him as strongly as she could possibly sound. Peyton couldn't help however, her shaky voice and hands. The tears were in her eyes and the need to shed them was there too. But she couldn't, honestly couldn't let herself shed them though.

"Please quit it…" She whispered shakily one last time right before she stepped out of the nursery without looking back.

_I never saw it like you did…  
>Didn't know that it was there.<br>You don't see it in your hand…It's in the air_


	4. IV

**IV**

* * *

><p>Lucas didn't know what exactly what had hurt him more; the tears in her eyes, the pain in her heart or the fact that she was shutting him out when they both needed each other most.<p>

By the end of that day however, when the old clock in her living room hit six-eleven in the evening and Peyton still wasn't home, Lucas knew she had been serious and he _needed_ to go.

That was why, something shy of an hour later, Lucas had already packed both his and Bennie's bags and was ready to take off. He walked the second storey hall in silence and simply looked at every inch of that house. At every room and at every space he had been with Peyton and his son only a few days ago. Where she had giggled, where he had laughed, where Bennie had hugged her and burst into a fit of chuckles…all of it, all the places were now empty and dark just like they were when he first stepped into that house one month ago.

He didn't want to go, he didn't want to leave her and just move on as she told him so, but…deep down Lucas thought that perhaps she was right. He was married to Brooke for not even two years before she passed away. They had been dating, on and off, for at least five years before that, something always got in the way and they ended up straying from each other. But then she got pregnant with Ben and getting married seemed as a good thing at the time, so Lucas proposed and she said yes without hesitation. They were happy and actually loved each other and that baby they had made but hadn't met yet. His life with Brooke was always good; she loved him and Lucas couldn't ever deny the fact that he loved her back, but Peyton Sawyer was always different. He would always say she was her best friend when all of his colleagues up in New York saw her in a picture with him and Brooke. He would always reply how Peyton Sawyer was one of his dearest friends even when they hadn't talk with each other for months at the time.

She would always email him though. Sometimes Lucas emailed her back, some others not. Just as when he was the one to reach out to her, sometimes she would reply, some others she just wouldn't. They never talked about big things; those messages were in all honesty just the way to check on one another and make sure the two of them were all right even though they were so far away from one another.

That was somewhat what Lucas felt now even though Peyton wasn't in other state but someplace else in their same small hometown. He felt as if their earlier conversation had broken something and he didn't quite know how to put that back together. Lucas just didn't like to lie to her; honestly, he never had. Perhaps he had kept some things for himself –those tangled feelings he had always felt for her– but he had never really lie to her. Not ever.

That was why earlier he couldn't not kiss her…or at the very least however, try to do so. Her skin had been so close to his. He honestly hadn't had a chance or option to do otherwise. Perhaps it was wrong and even messed up, but that curly blonde headed girl was so much more than just his _'best friend'_, and even though he never admitted it openly, she _always_ had been.

_But_ she was with Nathan. She always had been. That was why all of it was so hard…not just on him; but really, mostly on Peyton. Lucas had always known that; _even_, when she still hadn't seen it herself.

Heaving a sigh, Lucas got up from the futon in the sunroom and shaking his head ever so slightly he walked his way down the stairs. Ben was asleep, which was probably a good thing since Lucas would be driving them all the way up to New York again this time. He first put all of their belongings in the car and after everything was set, he grabbed Bennie and without really wanting to do it, he settled him in the car as well. Everything was set, everything was ready, yet Lucas couldn't shut up that little voice in the back of his mind that told him how Peyton could be back in any second, and if he only waited a little bit longer, he wouldn't miss out his chance with her again.

She never did it though, Lucas waited, he waited for a while and a while longer, but she never showed up so he left. He turned on his car and after giving her home one last look, he took off…

_I will be the only one if you say you'll never go  
>I'll be screaming out your name<br>From the back row_

There was this road, one he hardly ever had to take but when they were younger, Peyton always used to make him take. She used to say it was a shortcut; she said how for her it was utterly ridiculous that no one else took it since it really made the distances between downtown and their houses a whole lot closer. Lucas remembered she also told him once she actually was kind of glad no one else knew it since the scenery of that place was _so_ beautiful that perhaps if more people saw it, it would lose its beauty somewhat.

Lucas never ever disagreed with her; he couldn't honestly, yet he never took that road when she wasn't with him either. That was like _their _place; it was always or at least most of the times, alone and solely disposed for them to admire it all.

That night Lucas had been in the entry to that very road when his cell phone rang. His car had been stopped and Bennie had just begun crying in the back of the car. He'd pulled over to console his son but the call had reached before he could actually do it.

There weren't many the times when Lucas could say he had seen Haley James scared; in all honesty, in her very own way, that girl was kind of fearless most of the times. She was who she was and she never intended to be otherwise. That night however, when she called Lucas, he hadn't listened to anything other than fear carrying with her voice on the phone.

Maybe it hadn't been too bad, but when Haley told him about the call she had got about Peyton, Lucas had felt his heart sinking and his mind racing. One thing was knowing he couldn't be with Peyton, he would deal with that, he knew he could do it as long as she was okay. Had that not be the case, had something actually happened to her, Lucas had no idea what exactly he'd do…

He…he just couldn't lose her; he really could _not_.

All Lucas knew when he stepped into the hospital was that he had to run. Run as fast as he could and as fast as he had ever ran before. And then there were all the people; everybody was there. It honestly felt inside him as if the whole world was out to get him and he simply couldn't reach _her_. There were doctors, questions of who he was, nurses, more patients, sick people, children, his son, Haley…all those people and the one person he wanted to see was apparently out of reach as he simply did as he could…_run_.

Perhaps if he had waited in the parking lot for just another moment to listen what Haley had to tell him now, instead of just handing her over his boy, he had known better than to run and piss off at pretty much everyone he pushed in the process of getting to her room.

711 was the number on the top of her bedroom door. Lucas breathed in deeply before he simply turned the handle and pushed the door open at last. His mind was kind of blurry, he couldn't really see much but only her frame on the bed at the end of the bedroom. She was curled up in a ball, her back was to him, and her tanned curls were also facing him. Honestly, there wasn't something else that Lucas could see in that very instant but _her_. Peyton and the fact that she was still there and before his eyes.

"_Do you have an idea of what I felt when I thought I could lose you, too?" _

The question didn't come strong, it fact, in Peyton's ears, it carried rather weak and broken. He wasn't recriminating anything to her, he wasn't; Lucas honestly just wanted her to know some of what he was feeling in that moment and still was having trouble making sense of. She was okay though and that was really all that mattered most in his mind, but most importantly, in his heart.

He didn't let her talk next, he knew that if he did, she would say all those things she shouldn't say and that he knew already…she wasn't his to lose would be the first thing she'd say for sure…

Or perhaps the second, maybe the first one would be some sort of reassurance that would put his mind at ease as soon as she told him she was in fact okay, but for the time being, for those small seconds Lucas managed to get so close to her that their noses were even brushing slightly. Lucas then could only do one thing…the one thing that was right and the one he was one hundred percent sure of in that instant…

_He kissed her._ He softly, yet firmly enough pressed his lips to hers before Peyton could utter one single word. Far too slowly, Lucas' hand reached up and he rested it gently upon her cheek; Peyton felt somewhat frozen yet within her chest she could vividly feel just how very fast her heart was beating at his touch. The pad of his thumb running sweetly over the apple of her cheek, his other hand resting on the back of her head pressing them together in just that perfect amount…not too close, not too far away, just close enough for her heart to skip a beat…or perhaps even two.

Her eyes had fluttered closed in just the exact second she felt his skin so close to hers; maybe another split second passed by before her own hands had also reached the back of his neck and her fingers began running through his hair. She couldn't understand it; she was trying hard to do it, but she just couldn't…how in the world something that was so wrong, because it was, he was her husband's brother after all; could feel at the same time _so_ right?

"Luke…" She breathed weakly when Lucas pulled back only slightly. She could still feel his breath against her skin and that sensation alone was enough to get her own breath hitched in her throat. "This…"

"I love you," Lucas promised seriously, and those three words alone were more than enough to take away Peyton's air.

_What if I knew how to yell? What would I pray?  
>What if I knew how to tell?<br>What would I say?_

"I do Peyt. You know I'm not lying. I–I could not lie to you about this." He said so seriously Peyton still was finding it hard to catch her breath back. Tears began welling in her eyes and she was sure her body was shaking ever so slightly at that lingering touch he left on her. "I love you." Lucas said again because in truth, those were the only three words he could make sense of in his mind at that moment.

"Lucas…" She breathed his name one more time because the right words to tell him back were right there on the tip of her tongue and that fact did nothing short of terrify her every bone. She was supposed to be happy; happily married to her high school sweetheart. She wasn't supposed to be there, with this other boy, feeling all these things and having no clue as to what to do with them. "Nathan…" She tried weakly yet Lucas was fast to chime in.

"_I_ love you," He chanted once more and this time he didn't only let his words lingering in the air, but leaned in closer to Peyton so that he could catch her lips into his own a second time.

And actually, a _third_ time; the first time they had kissed each other had been something around eight years ago. A single soft kiss he had given her in the back porch of her home after they had spent the whole day together. Lucas wanted that, he wanted that _back_, he wanted everything he knew the two of them could have been once upon a time, he wanted _her_…

Peyton kept her eyes closed even when Lucas had already pulled back and the only inch of him that was still touching her was his forehead. That alone, that simple touch was making her heart flutter in a way that it hadn't in forever.

The first tear fell from her eyes and Lucas was more than fast enough to wipe it away with the pad of his thumb. "I want this, I want you…" Lucas promised quietly even when her eyes stayed closed.

It was hard; that was actually a fact, it was hard for Peyton to be there with him and hearing him say all the things he was saying without feeling a little…beneath him. It had been a long long time since she had had someone telling her things as the ones Lucas told her. It had been forever since she had last felt _needed_ by someone…_wanted_.

"You deserve to be happy and to live and…" There was nothing Lucas wanted most but to tell her his next words, but…she needed to look at him as he did so…that was why his sentence trailed off. He paused, and with his forefinger, he tucked it under Peyton's chin and as gently as he could, he lifted her face up. A moment passed by, maybe even two, but after a few seconds, Lucas' eyes met with those precious green eyes of hers. "You deserve to be _love._" He stated, and it was the emotion and sincerity in his words that made Peyton break down and let go.

She let go of the pain, she let go of the sorrow, the sadness, the remorse, the constant ache in her heart as _she_ reached up this time, and through a million tears, her lips met his one more time, but this time, it wasn't just another kiss they had given to each other, it was the kiss that made it all _real_. It was the kiss that told Lucas the answer he had been waiting from her. It was the kiss that healed them both profoundly…it was the kiss that did not erase the pain, but it was indeed the kiss that made that pain lessen…made it less important and pivotal…

For a long time pain consumed their lives, but perhaps…perhaps things could be okay now…she thought they could be anyway…

_Be the one and only, wait for me  
>Will you be the only one?<br>Will you be, be the one and only?  
>Wait for me; let me be your only one<em>

"There's snow…"

At first, his voice was barely audible; it was something barely above a whisper. In a way – actually, in a way Peyton completely understood, he felt as though his eyes were betraying him and that that he thought he was seeing before his eyes wasn't really there. But it was, and the cold chill that rapidly ran all the way through his spine told him how this clearly was not a dream.

"Momma, mom! It's snow!" He said one more time, yet this time at the top of his lungs. Very little that boy cared it was barely six o'clock in the morning; it was snowing in the end.

It was the truth Peyton could hardly make any words from his shouts as she struggled to sleep in just a little bit longer, but not ten seconds later, only enough until reality, her reality set in, were enough to get her lips curling up at the sound.

One of Lucas' legs was still draped among hers and his arm was also wrapping her waist as he continued to slumber. He was fast asleep over his stomach, and in all honesty, Peyton didn't have the heart to wake him up quite yet. She smiled at him though; he looked peaceful, and more often than not, that was certainly enough to tug yet more smiles to her face.

She stroked his cheek and softly brushed a kiss to his forehead before she put on her rope, and even though she was still somewhat sleepy, she followed the chants of her boy until she reached the back porch door. She breathed in deeply the cool air and despite the fact that that flannel rope was doing little to nothing to warm her body; she still didn't have to make an effort when she smiled at their back garden covered completely with that perfect white blanket.

"It's snowing Momma…" Ben told Peyton even when his eyes stayed fix strongly on the front.

Peyton's eyes on the other hand, shifted down to him almost immediately as he spoke. "I know buddy," She told him sweetly kneeling down on the floor a little so that she was more at his eye level. "It's beautiful," Peyton said into the air and couldn't help but chuckle at how vigorously Ben started nodding his head.

Her hand rested gently over his shoulder and out of raw instinct, she leaned over brushing a kiss to his cheek. He giggled and Peyton couldn't stop one giggle of her own to escape her lips. His laughter was always so contagious and real and in all honesty, one of Peyton's favorite sounds ever.

Five whole years they lived in California…at that one point in time, when everything seemed to be wrong _but_ themselves and their feelings, that place had been perfect. It was away from everything and everybody. From the painful memories, from people's whispers and even from the people they knew but they didn't want to…from the people they wanted to escape from…

Their house was right by the beach; it was always beautiful, rare was the time any of them complained about it because honestly, that place was all kinds of perfect. She painted, Lucas wrote, and Bennie was always their center. Lucas never tried to impose his son on her, but there was still never a time when Peyton felt forced or unwilled to take care of him…to _love _him as only a mother would.

Perhaps some people couldn't see it the way she did, but that boy was by all means the purest thing she had left of her best friend. There wasn't a thing but seeing him smile to bring a smile of her own to Peyton's face. Every day, every single day Ben grew more and more into Brooke, and that was something Peyton wouldn't trade for the world…

She loved that little boy. _All_ of him.

Eventually however, Peyton's eyes were bound to catch sight of him again that morning… of his _socked _feet. "You're going to get all wet peanut!" She pretty much cried playfully scooping the six-year-old rapidly up into her arms. None of them could help but laugh at the scene just unfolded, yet at the same time Peyton couldn't not shake her head at Ben either.

He had been far too excited for the last couple of weeks about that day. Everything was new to him and although one whole week had passed by since they moved back to the South, there wasn't a day when Benjamin Scott didn't find a new thing to be amazed at in that small town that happened to be his parent's hometown.

It took very little then for Peyton's features to soften and for that goofy smile to creep all the way back to her lips one more time. "Merry Christmas, Bennie," She told him earnestly right before she nuzzled her nose against his playfully.

A perfect fit of giggles escaped Ben's lips before his head found Peyton's shoulder and he rested it gently there. "Merry Christmas to you too," He said and Peyton barely found herself nodding at his words.

"Wow…" Lucas breathed right into Peyton's ear after a moment and heaving a shaky sigh, she nodded her head one more time at her other boy's words.

She got where both were coming; after spending five Christmases in a row with a bright beautiful sun and sand everywhere they were looking, having that very much white Christmas was certainly something to be amazed at.

"Hi…" Peyton greeted Lucas then with a perky smile as she turned her head around and as it always did, their noses brushed together only slightly right before she pressed her lips onto his good morning.

"Hey you…" Lucas said back with a small smile of his own before ruffling Bennie's head and leaning in to kiss his forehead good morning as well.

The three of them laughed for a little bit until Ben asked all too softly something into Peyton's ear, and Peyton replied to him another something back into his ear. Lucas rolled his eyes playfully at the two of them, but didn't even bother to get in the way of that freakingly close bond those two had.

"Daddy said seven," Ben said after a beat and at his name being mentioned, Lucas head snapped quickly in their direction one more time.

Peyton stifled a chuckle at Bennie and then turned to look at Lucas one more time. "Yesterday you told him he could open his presents at 7…" She said and waited a beat as realization dawned into Lucas. "It's barely six fifteen," She told him honestly trying hard not to laugh.

As if Lucas could actually make the boy wait another forty-five minutes when more than likely, he had spent the better part of the night envisioning just what Santa brought along with him from the North Pole this time.

And surely enough, not five minutes later the three of them were back in the house, Bennie was out of his soaked socks, into his slippers and both his hands were fast rummaging through the many gifts he had gotten this year.

Peyton was resting her body against Lucas and the two of them were down on the floor close enough to Ben and the tree, the moment would be perfect, it really would be if only Peyton's smile as she saw Bennie wasn't watery as Lucas couldn't mistake it was.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked her softly, his eyes shifting down and fixing on hers and his hand coming up to rest upon her cheek.

"Yup…" Peyton replied quietly, her head nodding slowly yet she was meeting his eyes. "I mean…" She tried adding after a moment but trailed off sighing one more. "I mean not really," She said and Lucas one more time couldn't mistake her words edging on dread.

He already knew where she was coming from though. "I told you it is going to be okay–"

"I know," Peyton assured him firmly before the words had completely finish coming out from his mouth. Lucas however, could still clearly listen to the utter fear her voice carried. "It's just…_What if_ it doesn't? Nathan never forgave me for Allie, and you and Bennie, you two…" Her voice got caught up in her throat and Lucas painfully saw as one lone tear slid down to her cheek.

This time around, he didn't use his finger but instead kissed it away lingering his touch against Peyton's soft skin for a little bit longer. "We'll be all right, okay?" Lucas promised into her ear; his voice husky and somewhat thick with emotion too. He wanted that little baby in her belly just as much as she did. "Ben and you and me…we are a family…we are, and I can tell you Peyton, there is _anything_ we can't get through together…" He told her and at those words full of meaning and conviction, Peyton's eyes slowly fluttered open. "_Anything_," He insisted and Peyton swallowed hard letting his words warm her inside a tad.

She was unsure as to what to say, so instead of saying something, she kissed him earnestly as a couple more tears fell from her eyes. It amazed her; he made it all seem so simple, without even trying, just with saying everything that his heart felt Lucas was able to wash peace over her _so_ easily that more often than not, Peyton couldn't know how in the world he did it…but he did, he always did, and she was glad. "I love you, you know that, right?" She asked with glistered eyes.

There wasn't sound as pure as those three words spoken from her mouth; it had taken a long time, a _long_ time until she allowed herself to be completely happy and embrace that feeling Lucas now knew she once thought couldn't be worth of. He did know though; so that was why he kissed her again instead of saying the words back.

She already knew he loved her, too.

"This baby is a lucky one; you _gotta_ know that, Peyt…" Lucas promised far too sincerely; his hand unable not to rest gently over her slightly curved stomach. Every time that his hands, his eyes would catch that small precious thing he couldn't help the smile that would always, _always_ play on his lips at the sight or touch of it. If for the next six months, he was going to reassure Peyton time and time again that that little life would make it, then he would do it. Because in truth, Lucas had not a shadow of a doubt that once those six months passed by, she would be holding that little boy or girl and then she'd know he had been right all along because that baby would be alive and crying and kicking for both their bliss. They were together now, and not just physically, but in _every_ sense; everything that'll happen, he'd be there. Lucas was no Nathan, and even though Lucas felt immense compassion still for his younger brother's pain, he just knew things were _bound_ to be different this time.

They ought to be.

"He would have the best mom he can get…just like Allie did and just like Bennie does. I promise you that." He stated firmly, looking right into his eyes until Peyton just felt as though she had to close them briefly and breathe him in deeply.

Lucas knew, by the way her soft little smile tugged on her lips, that he had done his job right and his girl believed in him.

"You said _he_…" Peyton murmured, still with her eyes softly closed and still with the goofy smile gracing her face.

"I said he," Lucas echoed playfully after her; his broad hand still draping across the skin of her tiny bump. "Or girl…You know I'd love those ringlets in the little one," He told her simply before leaning his head down, and after lifting up a tad the fabric of her tee, Lucas brushed the softest of kisses to _their_ baby.

"You should build him his snow fort now…" Peyton said the very seconds Lucas lifted up his face slightly, and their eyes met. Tears were still filling her big green eyes as she said the words, but as Lucas could tell with that single small glance, his girl was okay now…she looked happy in spite of her fears.

For another moment or two Lucas didn't reply to her request, but simply looked firmly into her eyes before kissing her lips one more time. "Would do," He told her simply knowing that snow fort they would _all _build wasn't going to be made just for Bennie and his six-year-old kiddy needs, but also for Peyton, and that immense want to feel peace and as if the world and everything was going to be okay…

Lucas would help her…he'd do that for her because that was just exactly why she got him for; to remind her, time and again, that it was okay to dream and see those same dreams fulfilling because everything in life can't be just pain…

There is always so much more, and for better or for worse, the two of them had showed each other that much and that was okay…

"Daddy," Ben called just when the three of them were stepping into the back garden to begin _"working"_ in the fort. Lucas smiled down at his boy and with a nod of his head encouraged him to go on. "Don't forget the tunnel!" He told him seriously before he burst into laughter just because he felt he wanted to laugh.

Peyton laughed along with him then and Lucas did so too. He would _not_ forget the tunnel.

"I love you, I always will…" Peyton couldn't be sure what prompted Lucas to say it that time –_after all, he was as busy as he could be with the snow, and the tunnel, and the 'window' for the fort apparently– _but she sure as hell wasn't about to complain. She could never get tired of hearing him say those words to her.

In that instant, like in many others before, she couldn't not smile at him so instead of fight her feelings, she didn't do it; she smiled Lucas' favorite smile and then cupped his chin with her hand before she gently brought his face oh-so very close to her lips. "Until the day I die, Peyton Sawyer…" Lucas added sincerely and then, Peyton kissed him.

"I promise,"

_Be the one, be the one and only  
>Wait for me; let me be your only one<br>Will you be, be the one and only  
>Wait for me; let me be your only one… <em>

_The End._

* * *

><p><strong>AN : <strong>Thank you for reading.


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